Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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