Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
