I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The power of my boobs compel you
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
