whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
