i permit you to call me
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
