i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize