we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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