I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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