apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
