Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
