May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
