I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize