things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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