I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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