Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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