Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
