You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
