and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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