Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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