Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
