I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
