Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
