Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you didnt know i had herpes?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
