I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is Oprah even human
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
