he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Randomize