sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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