I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize