what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We need a shit load of segways right now
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
