it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I had to cum in my sink.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
