I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
