I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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