Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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