I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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