So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize