You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
