I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
