Bisexual people are plain selfish.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
