i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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