i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
