i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
