We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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