shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
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