So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
