I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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