I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
