I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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