Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize