she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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