I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I supernannyed him into submission
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
