i was rollin on her like bob the builder
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
