whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
