i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
