i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
