Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I don't want my vagina anymore.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
