You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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