Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I am one with the molecules
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
