More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he was CRYING into my vagina
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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