just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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