Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
