help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
