SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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