she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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