When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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