yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
