And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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