Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
