in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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