I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
