Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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